Week 15

April 10, 2008
So….this week was interesting to say the least. I changed my ticket from the 28th to the 20th, so I will be back in good old CT on Monday, the 21st. Most of you who read this know that my grandfather died on Sunday morning and even though there is quite literally nothing that I can do about it or anything that will change by me coming home early, I just need to be home right now, even if it is only for a few days before I head down to American University. Blech…I mean, East Africa isn’t really going anywhere, so I can come back when there aren’t multiple family crises taking place in America. I did start crying on the phone with the British Airways woman when I changed my ticket and she literally had no idea what to do! It’s funny in retrospect, but I was pissed at the moment. I’m all over the place…I really do not want to leave Kenya, pretty much ever, but I know that if I do not go home I will drive myself insane. I just want to be with my family for a bit and then go to AU followed by VA followed by a road trip up the eastern seaboard for a very welcome distraction from life for a solid 2 and ½ weeks. Then hopefully I will be back here for the summer next year.

It’s weird that I am leaving in a week. One minute I can’t wait to go home and see my friends and family and the next minute I’m just mad that I ever have to leave at all. I learned a lot about myself. I think I’ve changed a lot, especially within the past 3 weeks as my departure comes closer and so much is going on at home. I’m more confident. I’m more independent. I more determined to get what I want…and sadly for all of you, I’ve become significantly more stubborn and aggressive. I was talking to Katie Gag yesterday and when I told her about the stubborn/aggressive realization she claimed she didn’t think that was possible. I’m also so much more relaxed about things (most of you are probably thinking that there is no way in hell that this is true). This particular week is in no way emblematic of my newly relaxed self, but give me a break…I think that’s pretty justified right now. The bottom line is I am much more sure of myself and confident after this experience. Every encounter I have had with Kenyans has taught me something about myself. Matatus have taught me not to let myself get walked on and that I can stand up for myself and, quite frankly, that I can get what I want and what I deserve. My friendships with the boys downstairs (Brent, Ted, and Evans) have taught me that I deserve a lot more from people than I sometimes get in America. They crack me up, they make me grateful. They have opened my eyes to an entirely different side of friendship and of myself. They have taught me not to put up with anyone’s bull shit. It’s hard to explain…It’s not as though I have multiple deep conversations with these guys about myself or life, but the friendships themselves have taught me these things. Just the way I am with them and how they treat me. And it’s not just them. It’s the relationships I have formed with everyone here; the 12 other people on the program, my professors, KJ, Victor, matatu touts, taxi drivers, the staff and children at Shangilia, literally everyone. Again, it’s hard to explain everything I feel in words. It’s just something I feel within myself. It’s something I notice personally and I am determined to bring all of these changes back to America with me…the confidence, the way I feel about the things I deserve from my relationships with people, my strength, and my self respect. I think it is impossible to be part of a program like this and not be changed by the challenges you face. This week though, I am so mad at myself for forgetting everything I have learned and changed about myself. I will not be forgetting again.

Thankfully, I have also learned to be really appreciative. There are parts of American culture and society that I truly have missed and I’ve become so much more grateful for my friends and family back in the States. I’ve missed a lot of people that I am excited to see. You all know who you are. But there are also several people I am excited to see so that I can test the ways in which I feel I have changed here. It’s something I really cannot wait to prove to myself. Maybe some of you should start preparing yourself as well.

The bottom line is that I have done a lot of thinking over the past few days. Thinking about my time here, going back to America, and the things that have changed between January 2nd and now. I know that I need to get used to the idea of leaving Kenya for quite some time, but I am 100% up for the challenges that I am faced with when it comes to my departure from Kenya and arrival back to my life in CT and DC. There are things that need to change and I am determined to change them all.

April 11, 2008
11 girls just sat upstairs in the apartment upstairs making over 400 peanubutter and jelly sandwiches. We organized a big event tomorrow we all refer to as “Fun Day.” Basically, we provide food, transportation, and entertainment to about 400 children from all of the organizations that we work with. The kids from Shangilia will be there as well as children from Mama Fatuma’s Children’s Home, Ray of Hope School/Hospital, Saint Vincent’s School from Kibera, and Mama Ngina’s Children’s Home. We asked USIU if we could use this enormous field just on the outside of campus and they said yes, so all we had to do was buy all the food, make all the sandwiches, and call the matatu companies to pick all the kids up! Fun Day is tomorrow from 10:00-2:30 and so many people are going to be there! Obviously all of the kids, staff from all of the organizations, Ted and Brent, kids we go to school with, it’s going to be huge and we have acrobats performing for everyone! That part I am really excited for because most of the kids I work with at Shangilia are trained in acrobatics so they can organize a performance with them

Okay well, I have to be at Shangilia by 9 tomorrow, and it’s already 1 am here, so I will update you all later on how the day went!

April 12, 2008
Today was draining. The day started at 8:30 AM with the nasty sound of my alarm and torrential downpour. Diana, Jackie, Rachel, Alan, and I all went to Shangilia, which is basically the equivalent of fording the Nile when it comes to the rainy season, and went with over 100 kids on 2 buses to USIU where Fun Day took place. Apart from the horrible weather the day started with, it was fantastic! I mean, yes I was horribly muddy and wet for the entire day as a result of the morning weather, but no one cared, so I certainly didn’t. Over 400 kids from 4 different organizations just ran around for 4 hours eating peanubutter and jelly sandwiches and drinking cups of Kenyan juice. An acrobatic team also performed for the kids which inspired my kids to perform too! So about 10 Shangilia boys performed acrobats as well, including the human jump rope, which I have a video of and I will be showing everyone. The way I feel when I see my kids perform has got to be pretty close to how proud moms feel about their kids.

Overall, it was a really successful day. All of the members of the program were there, as well as a number of our friends. The only part that sort of sucked was the fact that one of the buses was 3 hours late when it came to picking us up at the field at USIU. So 24 kids from Shangilia, 2 advisors, our friend James, Liz and I were all sitting around waiting for the bus. I ended up taking a nap until one of the kids jumped on me and I almost threw up, and then I decided that this would be a fabulous opportunity to learn some sort of acrobatic move. James used to be an acrobat for the organization called Sarakasi where Liz interns and now he is a trainer. We spent the last 30 minutes of our 3 hour wait teaching me to do a back flip, which was a bit painful, but also really hysterical.

I came home, hung out with Ted and Brent while my apartment mates took a nap, went out to dinner with the girls, and now I am here procrastinating and enjoying life nonetheless!

The beginning of the week was rough, as you know, but I can’t let anything be worth messing up my last week in my favorite place in the world. Grandpa wouldn’t like, and I certainly wouldn’t. I’m glad I taught myself that in time to start enjoying myself again!